No news is good news with Gary Gnu.

It is generally said that people who talk too much generally don't listen well. Lately, people are talking too much and I am getting tired of listening. The other day I ran across some definitions in an old college textbook that quoted the famous book "The Devil's Dictionary". It made me feel better for not wanting to listen to people talk about themselves all the time. The Devil's Dictionary, written by American satirist Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce, was a newspaper weekly first collected as a book in 1906. If you've never read this, you can view the 1908 dictionary online here. Cynics would enjoy a glance the definitions...here are a few examples.

Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

Conversation, n. A fair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor.

Egoist, n. A person of low taste more interested in himself than me.

Heaven, n. A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound your own.


And hey, I thought Gary Gnu was a made up character for morning TV? Look here, Bierce defined a Gnu back in the early 1900s? who G-new? (sorry)

GNU, n. An animal of South Africa, which in its domesticated state resembles a horse, a buffalo and a stag. In its wild condition it is something like a thunderbolt, an earthquake and a cyclone.

And speak of the devil, remember this line from The Great Space Coaster??

"This Is Gary Gnu. And The No Gnews Is Good Gnews Show. The Only TV Gnews Program Guaranteed To Contain No Gnews Whatsoever." Fox should use that tag line..

I've seen this guy before...

worth the click...
Don't drink with this guy.

5 things

5 phrases/words that have become popular and drive me crazy!:

1. 9 times out of 10... - "You know, nine times out of ten the problem with your husband will resolve itself".

2. At the end of the day... - " I love spending money on italian handmade shoes, but at the end of the day, they are just shoes."

3. It is what it is... -" Montreal is dirty and cold but it does have great restaurants, oh well, it is what it is, right?

4. The word "actually" in any sentence. "I'm actually really tired". "Actually, he's a really cool dude." "Why don't you actually meet me at my car." "It is "actually" as popular as "like"."

5. The word "empowered". - "She now feels so empowered to start her own company."


I'd like to challenge myself and use them all in one paragraph. Here we go:

This weekend, I'm actually feeling so empowered by the thought of purchasing my own sailboat. I'm actually looking forward to the first the weekend out at sea with the Kennedy's. And you know, even though some of us are painfully wealthy, 9 times out of 10 , your friends will still love you. Money isn't everything and owning a huge wooden sailboat, well, it is what it is. Actually, at the end of the day, you're still the hot chick they knew and loved back at Yale. I love the ocean, actually, I get so empowered by sailing and yachting. Cheerio!

Actually, please stop using those words.

Whereever you are, there you are.
Get out... go on... get out..

Be ahhhhhh pepper. Remember in the 70s how up lifting and happy all the people were in commericals? They skied, they danced, they smiled! Now people have people with large thumbs to help sell juicy fruit? Have you seen the new Juicy Fruit commercial? A guy standing in front of vending machine points with his huge thumb the size of a pool skimmer? It's disturbing.

I loved this one from the late 70s! Remember this one? Is that old Sage in high school?